This sure is a blog.
The title of this post should actually be, "the beginning of the end of my struggles with my self, my appearance, and my weight", but that would be way too long.
My name is Jen, and I have been engaged in a constant struggle with my weight (my self, as well, but this is mostly about the weight) for as long as I can remember. The first anxieties I suffered around my weight were in the fifth or sixth grade when those Child ID cards that never panned out brought my attention, and that of everyone else in my class, to the fact that I was much, much heavier than everyone else. I had always been active, but I guess I have also always loved food. As much as I hate to echo the same sentiments as many others who have gotten ridiculously overweight, food was not only delicious but it was my best friend; made me feel better when I had a bad day at school, when I was stressed out. Devilishly enough, food also comforted me when I was stressed about my weight.
I've been trying to actively lose weight since the eighth grade through a number of different methods: less snacks (and certainly no cookies after dinner), Herbal Magic (which did help me lose weight but also messed up my stomach for life, was insanely expensive, and was not sustainable), obsessive calorie counting and restriction (in my 3rd year of University, I restricted myself to 500 calories per day; to its credit, this is what helped me lose the first 30ish pounds which I have mostly kept off), and lowering my carb intake. That last one was a preventative measure against gaining ridiculous amounts of weight on the evil drug prednisone, and it helped a bit! Somewhere in that mess, I also got very sick (later diagnosed as IBD) and got down to my lowest adult weight ever, 136 pounds. It's a little sickening to know how much I enjoyed seeing that on the scale, despite how much pain I was going through at the time.
Today, I weighed in at 162 pounds. The older I get, the more I realize that this much weight on a 5'4" frame is not only extremely unattractive, but also very unhealthy. I started this blog to allow me to reflect on my successes (and probably moreso my failures) with losing this weight once and for all. I don't really have anyone I can talk about this in the offline world, so I hope that keeping a blog will help me (a) be accountable, (b) have a place I can rant and rave about my cravings while I am trying to stave them off, and (c) keep track of the steps I have taken towards my goal. I don't have a plan, mostly because every time I make a comprehensive weight loss plan, it ends up being disregarded after a week or so, so I am just starting simple: work on eating less, drinking more water, and moving more. That's "the plan".
The title of this post should actually be, "the beginning of the end of my struggles with my self, my appearance, and my weight", but that would be way too long.
My name is Jen, and I have been engaged in a constant struggle with my weight (my self, as well, but this is mostly about the weight) for as long as I can remember. The first anxieties I suffered around my weight were in the fifth or sixth grade when those Child ID cards that never panned out brought my attention, and that of everyone else in my class, to the fact that I was much, much heavier than everyone else. I had always been active, but I guess I have also always loved food. As much as I hate to echo the same sentiments as many others who have gotten ridiculously overweight, food was not only delicious but it was my best friend; made me feel better when I had a bad day at school, when I was stressed out. Devilishly enough, food also comforted me when I was stressed about my weight.
I've been trying to actively lose weight since the eighth grade through a number of different methods: less snacks (and certainly no cookies after dinner), Herbal Magic (which did help me lose weight but also messed up my stomach for life, was insanely expensive, and was not sustainable), obsessive calorie counting and restriction (in my 3rd year of University, I restricted myself to 500 calories per day; to its credit, this is what helped me lose the first 30ish pounds which I have mostly kept off), and lowering my carb intake. That last one was a preventative measure against gaining ridiculous amounts of weight on the evil drug prednisone, and it helped a bit! Somewhere in that mess, I also got very sick (later diagnosed as IBD) and got down to my lowest adult weight ever, 136 pounds. It's a little sickening to know how much I enjoyed seeing that on the scale, despite how much pain I was going through at the time.
Today, I weighed in at 162 pounds. The older I get, the more I realize that this much weight on a 5'4" frame is not only extremely unattractive, but also very unhealthy. I started this blog to allow me to reflect on my successes (and probably moreso my failures) with losing this weight once and for all. I don't really have anyone I can talk about this in the offline world, so I hope that keeping a blog will help me (a) be accountable, (b) have a place I can rant and rave about my cravings while I am trying to stave them off, and (c) keep track of the steps I have taken towards my goal. I don't have a plan, mostly because every time I make a comprehensive weight loss plan, it ends up being disregarded after a week or so, so I am just starting simple: work on eating less, drinking more water, and moving more. That's "the plan".
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